Midnight crises..

Friday almost three o'clock. The bed is poor, can't sleep on such pillow and moreover the thoughts whirling in my mind do not let me sleep. So many things I want to reach, so many goals set up in my mind. Finally finish bachelor, be good in work, earn so much that my own family can have a piece of bread on a dinners plate. But those are goals more professional than private. Be a good husband, loving father, sophisticated lover, magnificent person, write a book with kind of philosophy bases. And thoughts about what if.. I would have cancer as my parents did? How it would be then? What about Štěpánka and Šimon? Who will take care of them? Will they be able to visit me in hospital? Without any consequences? How about are other kids we would like to have? What about my job? Would I need to leave it? What about.. what if.. what what what??? Can't sleep as such thoughts are not easy to be handled well. The answers are to be found through experience, through the fact that if that will be my fate (and I rarely believe in fate) then only then I will get answers for my questions.