get on the top..

lately I got crazy about bouldering, taking a piece of shirt, pants and climbing shoes and just climb up and down. Try to find the body balance, start trusting your own body, find the fearless peace in your mind.. my next step is bow.. I am in a stage of getting a new bow, later I will train my mind to stay balances same as my body does (time to time)

rituals..

its beautiful how people tend to create their own rituals. Rituals which would bring us, clean us, prepare us, make us stronger and least but not last, make us think about an impact made on us through society and its traditions. Rituals like shawing, cleaning teeth, celebrating birthdays, behavioral patterns and many many others would remind us that we do belong to a specific part of earth's society. Does matter how we do them, when we do them and if we do them. Obviously nowadays with all the liberty and freedom, people tend to create their own rituals (as it always was like that) and let them shine and diffuse within. Some people feel bonded with old rituals and try to find new ones, some feel comfortable with old rituals and deny the new ones. We can't ask questions which rituals are better, we can only observe and (of course) do feel comfortable with our 'own' rituals. It is sarcastic to know that people always (each history point) feel that the rituals (culture) played in the past is {was) better than their current ones.

interpretation..

I believe many from us do see things. Do see the nature around us, do see the words written in a book, do see the moving clouds on the blue heaven sky. Also many of us do read books, do write poems, do work hard, do talk and eat, do lost and search and find again. We all do that. And here is my question, do we really understand what is going on around us? If we read a book, can we read in between the sentences? Do you put a spoon full of delicous food and stop yourself? Do you think how nice it feels when you bounce the food on your tongue, when you feel your eagerness to swallow it, but you don't, because everybody can fills their stomach with food, but how does it taste, not many of us do care. I do not want any comparison between McDonald's food and French cousine (why did I mentioned french? and even put a capital 'F'? of, society society, what do you do with me?), only want to mention, that without understanding we might live our lifes in a poor way.
Telling somebody that you love him has many ways of expression. There certainly is a power hidden in words. As you know, everybody can hurt you with words (here an ego plays a big and bigger role than you would expected). But here is my soulmate, my true friend. And altough I was not reading books she did read, mainly because they are in language I did not master yet (never ever?!) and here she is, providing me a bridge over the river, putting brick after brick, maybe not building he bridge for me, but at least she is one of the architects a very good one. God gives the ability, but the will and the faith must come out within us. And here she is, talking to me from distance and still I can 'hear' her so close. It is like somebody is talking inside of your heart, somebody whom you can't pretend you are somebody else, you can't play being macho or just not caring about things, you are naked, honest and read-through. And it is sooo good. Trully, you who do not know what I am talking about will understand once, I trully belive so, as there is always a way, time flows and we get old, but if we listen, if we stop ourselfs and instead of using our brain, trying to understand mechanics and why and when, just let the world in. Breathe the beauty inside to your soul, let it whirl there and breathe out a silent thank you. Because we might think we master the world, we might think we have everything under control, man kind usually tend to do that, but we are so foolish with that, lying to ourselfs instead of letting the better from us go out, shine through our chest and cheer ourselfs..

hope my dear friend, my soulmate will understand why do I copy her words here. They are not so much connected with my words above and yet, they are the basis of everything what I said. Might confuse you and take you in other direction, but trully, as she told me, open your heart and your inner eyes will understand the words below in many other perceptions..

(My soulmate's interpretation of a hungarian writer Muller Peter; Hungarians have two (and I believe even more) words for love)

"Muller Peter points out the differences between love (szerelem) and love (szeretet) and it kinda opened my eyes...he says:

the szerelem is burning, the szeretet knows about responsibility

the colour of szerelem is redish (flame red) the colour of szeretet is the deeper bordeau

the szerelem lives under the belly (where the sexual organs are) the szeretet lives in the heart

the szerelem without wisdom can be destroying like the fire

the szerelem ends where the marriage begins...where the kids are born, the szeretet is the base of an enduring unity...

I need to be able to love even by letting it go...it can..it WILL stay in my heart forever but I must not be sad about something that is so joyful...the love...the love once experienced lives there in everything from then on...in a glance for the snowflakes, in the cold wind on my cheek while going to church in the morning, in the voice of the old grandma singing the Xmas psalms, in the green leave of the Xmas tree, in the gleams of the stars, in the gentle breeze over the summer fields, in the fluffy cloud traveling lonely on the blue sky, it is there in the monoton sound of the machines, it is there in the singing of the birds, it is there in a delicious lunch, in the laughs of the children...in the cozy armchair, in the fur of your favourite dog...it is there...everywhere you look, and then you're heart knows...you are never alone...this love you experienced is always with you..."

p. s. My dear friend, I trust you and forever will, I trully apologize to share your wisdom with the world, but I feel, many people, if ever they will read this, might understand that I could not let this be hidden between us. It can serve as the key to open many eyes and thats mainly thanks to You. Hope I'll be forgiven for this..

moody..

Today was a pretty moody day. Dunno why, but since I woke up I was just thinking what the other one is thinking about. Is it me. Is it not me? Why does she not think about me? If she does, then why is she thinking about me? In a good way? And if she does not think about me, then why not if if I would be her I would be thinking about myself? Just a 'funny' day it was at the beginning it became even worse in the afternoon, when I was just guessing she does not love me, and then why does she not love me and then how come she does not love me and it ended up so that when she does not love me that I do not love her neither. This you can take as a complete nonsense.
Life does not work like it was in my mind today. It is never so easy and never so direct as in each of us are many reasons and many feelings which we are not even able to describe or admit to ourselfs. Life is just a bigger rubik's cube and not everybody will ever put all colors at the same place.

who loves whom

I guess I am not the last one who (time to time, or maybe yet) does not understand love. How does it work? Sure, nobody has the manual book for that. I was always wondering what people love about themself. I mean, in case I will be in love with someboy why I would be in love? Because what she does, or how she is? Or what are her dreams and because I think that my dreams do fit in there? If I think that she behaves good, would I love her because of that? What counts in love? Physicality? Behaviour? Fulfilled expectations? I know a case when a love did go above all these 'things'. Above physicality, above behaviour, above expectations. It was purely from heart. Was it so, or just I am saying it to myself and I do not see inside of my heart. Does my brain succesfully hide proofs of my theory misunderstandings? What do we love about the other one? At the end, aren't the specific differencies the one for us have the most special ones we do love her or him for?! Many questions and even more answers. More subjective than objective. At the end, nobody can tell us whom and how to love. It is always up to us, and that does it make even more difficult.

Spagatek, pot a drina

Po letech krasne nevedomosti to jednou muselo padnout i na me. Do rukou vam daji dospele plenky kterym mazaci rikaji sedak, upnou na vas HMSku a reknou at uvazete preclik. Co naplat, ze jste kbelik zapomneli doma, vzdy se nejaky najde, aby vam sarkastickym zpusobem pripomenul, ze vase zdravi zavisi i na tak male, vtipne hracicce.
Lezeni. Kdysi, v me hlave pouze vasen nekolika set, po nedavnych zkusenostech jsem byl nucen prehodnotit me mysleni a uznat, ze se nejedna o pouhou skupinku nadsencu, ale o lidi, kteri si vzali horolezeni k srdci a pripojili ho ke svym zivotum. Navic, kdo by to rekl, oni maji i svuj svaz. Cesky horolezecky svaz. Clovek by se sam divil, kolik lidi takhle po praci navleka sedak a vklada sve zdravi do rukou dalsich. Nemusite dlouho cekat a uz i vas napadne, ze by jste to nejradsi zkusili take. Pujcite si potrebne vybaveni a sup na lezeckou stenu. Svaly boli, pot se leje, ale nadseni neprestava. Co naplat, nejde o zadne soupereni, na stene je to pouze vas boj se sebou samym, klidna mysl a spolehnuti na vase vlastni telo, ze to dokaze, jsou asi dve nejvetsi zbrane, ktere tasite kdyz berete do rukou lano a 'pecete' preclik.

I'm going there..

would be nice to know where are we heading. Would be enough to have a magic wisdom bowl and always when we have question, just ask and you will get your answer. Should I study this major and will I be happy after then? Yes. Should I date with this guy and will he love me for ever ever? No. Then Should I be with the other one who brings me flovers and took me to theather the other day? Yes.
How simple it would be, but it is not. If you take it so and so, the life is all about us. Relationships. I dare to say it, because I believe it is so. Not so much about work, everybody, who wants, can work and earn so much money to be able to survive (those who know, we can survive with a true little..) but at the end, there is always us and the other one. Either man or woman. We always end up in a conversation touching relationship topic.. 'you know, my man is so good he even wash the dishes' 'ou, but mine is even ironing his shirts'.. 'my woman is doing me snacks every day when I go to the office and lunch always when I stay at home'.. 'mine is taking a great care of kids and she is really good in bed'.. all this, all these words and sentences, thoughts and plans are touching us, our souls, our thinking, our lifes. I know it would be great to have the magic bowl and ask questions, but there is none. At the end, it is always a risk and great effort which is part of our lifes. Though, my closest soul would say, don't be stupid man, just listen to your heart and you will find your answers, I'm still not there, not able to listen to my heartbeat, no matter how hard it beats I'm deaf.
Trully, the ones who are able to listen to themselfs, are true masters of life. The ones who rely on God, deal with His will and keep on living under whatever circumstances, are trully worth of respect.

No, it is not easy to stand on the road and decide, 'hould we turn left or right?! But no matter which way you take, the soul is with you and don't be foolish, at the end, we are the ones who build our landscapes, trees and flowers, sky and lakes, moon and sun. Whatever road God gave us, it is us who deal with it.