Midnight crises..

Friday almost three o'clock. The bed is poor, can't sleep on such pillow and moreover the thoughts whirling in my mind do not let me sleep. So many things I want to reach, so many goals set up in my mind. Finally finish bachelor, be good in work, earn so much that my own family can have a piece of bread on a dinners plate. But those are goals more professional than private. Be a good husband, loving father, sophisticated lover, magnificent person, write a book with kind of philosophy bases. And thoughts about what if.. I would have cancer as my parents did? How it would be then? What about Štěpánka and Šimon? Who will take care of them? Will they be able to visit me in hospital? Without any consequences? How about are other kids we would like to have? What about my job? Would I need to leave it? What about.. what if.. what what what??? Can't sleep as such thoughts are not easy to be handled well. The answers are to be found through experience, through the fact that if that will be my fate (and I rarely believe in fate) then only then I will get answers for my questions.

Outer shell..

Does not matter.. everything what matters is proved with deeds and time to time with words. I needed to realize this, some do not even think about it and just behave like there is nothing else more common. Me not. I need time to time remind that I am not better than anybody else, that I am not smarter or more handsome, or some other more.. no no no. There are only deeds which are truly the ones carving our person into a book of life.

Going on and off the..

Escalator in Prague's subway. What this has to do with ethics and freedom? Imagine that people are told to travel up the escalators while standing on the right side. The left side is used usually for those who walk the moving stairs up, although there is no information that the fact why the people need to stand on the right side. (and hold the trail) is because of the fact to have the left side free for the faster ones. What would happen if somebody would walk up the stairs on the left, stopped in the mid of the way up and just stand there. Is it ok unless somebody walks up?

everybody on their own..

going back to a thought that everybody is selfish.. let's say egoistic.. not really a egomaniac, but we (most of the time) act and think in the way of "I would" "I need" "I did not" I and I and I.. why? well each and every form of life is trying to survive, survive everything, be a living thing, not a dead and forgotten thing.. animals, humans, flies, flowers... everybody and everything (even the stones) therefore all those things, all humans act in a way of a selfish act. Kant got the point, but yet there are some moments when we need to shout "aaaawww" heroic moments, people saving other people, even when the risk is so high that they might die. do we see such behaviour in animal world (do not count humans among animals)? I can't remember that a fly would fly so fast that it would bump into another fly which would just be at a risk of death (hand smashing it on a purely white wall) where are these intentions coming from? how come that most of the time (and kids need to go through such grow when the world is just about them and them and them) think about ourselves and then in some other moments we act as heroes (taking note that heroic act for me is just what I have described above)

Arguments

People other don't like some things or do like them. It seems to me that then it is just about finding arguments why they like them.. why would they try to thing about the cons of thinks/does which they like?

Feeling' good

Got Simon and took the tour for today's noon time. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing gentle summer breeze and I am everything just happy. I must say whatever happened to me in the past, I am a truly lucky man. Got a beautiful wife, got marvelous son and people who are living close to me or are close to my heart are the most marvelous human beings I have met (well true I would need to count also those who I dos not meet, but who did affect my life through words speaking from a list of a book. I also need to thank to my parents who gave me my social education and all the opportunities to enrich my wisdom with school, books and never-ending discussions. Hope my mother is doing well up there between the clouds with God and my father will live the live he ever wanted. It is such a nice feeling to be happy and to know that your life, the deeds you have made so far do count in the most-of-the-time chaotic universe (world, space.. life era)

Good to know

What is happening around us in the world.. guess we still don't fully recognize the advantage internet gave us compared to previous generations. Our world is more connected than ever before and truly we soon or later achieve a feeling that it in fact matters what is happening on the other side of the world.