freezy, dark and thoughtful morning..

morning drive with a tram is always a good opportunity to think over what you did last day. If the conclusion is that you did nothing (not counting the job you need to do to survive in the city life) a feeling of guiltiness is waiting just behind you to bite your neck and stay there till you'll find something better to think about. If you come to a result, that you did what you could do was enough, you travel with a smile and look forward for the day.
Some of us do not think about what they missed the previous day, but they think over how they would do the following day, or the day they are in. They plan it precisely so later on they would see that even a precise plan has to be always adjusted for little things we did not count with. Even the best of bests plan.
The morning drive with a tram is like a philosophy class, at the end, there are also people who just stare out of the windows and do not think at all.

čas nečas..

pondělí večer, vzpomínky na víkend ještě nebyly zapadány prachem a už je tady nový týden, nové úkoly, nová chuť. Nová? Kdepak, tímhle vším jsme si už jednou prošli, týden zpátky, a pak ještě předchozí týden, a ten před ním a před ním.. pondělí večer, vzpomínky na víkend jsou ještě rudé jako uhlíky v krbu a my se teprve nadechujeme.

Bijou - mozdulatlan hraje a já jsem právě dokončil večeři. Myšlenky běhají sem a tam a já jsem líný zvednout ruku a chytit je. Melancholie je můj dnešní nápoj. Pil jsem už lepší, ale dnes se nabídnutá sklenička hodí. Ženy pokládají příliš mnoho otázek a mě pomalu začínají docházet odpovědi. Sny, které se měli stát skutečností se změnili v noční můru, která neposkytuje dostatek spánku. Nejistota pramenící z nedostatku kuráže se snadno skryje za nevinný úsměv, ale na oplatku nepřichází pusa, ale stejně nesmělý úsměv. Nevyřčené touhy se válí na chomáči přátelství. Někdy je utrpení být upřímný.

confusion..

lately I feel pretty confused. Many things happened to appear, change, new experiences coming with every single day and I am unable to sort them, to put them in the right category, my decisions are like little knifes cutting my back and the strangest thing is that it is my who holds the knifes. Escape is a word crossing my mind every day. But with escape, I'll not solve anything. The question is also, shall I solve something? Or should I just accept as it is? This option excludes the ability of making decisions. Though just to accept the order of things currently happening is also a decision. In this period of time I feel like being on travel, lost in a deep forest where everything what I can see is thick fog licking my body, touching it, trying to get me down on knees. With every single step I loose my energy and pieces of hope I tresure in my heart. Hope that at the end of this is a green field with high grass waived with a spring breeze.