is it so difficult?

is it so difficult to live? to love? to express what we have in our minds? to describe all the beauty we may experience in our lifes.. or is it just so that only inside in our souls we can trully feel and 'see' the beauty, but words are not able to capture or to express what we 'see'? is it because everybody takes the words from his / her point of view? if i tell somebody about beautiful wooden bridge, he or she will not have the picture of my bridge I saw but a bridge they saw time ago, in a village full of kind people.. my wooden bridge and their wooden bridge will not be the same.. just he 'idea' of bridge will be fulfilled..

if there will be somebody who did not see a bridge in the entire life.. though I would explain what a bridge is.. the picture in me would not fly into his heart..

I would like to encourage you to listen when somebody is talking, not to your own thoughts but to the sense of words he or she paints the picture for you

all the way to life..

there it is.. we have it there.. there in the fetish of modern science.. there in our sponge-like organ hidden behind the bone-white skull.. did you find it? ok.. so we take different way.. we will not catch our buddy just like that.. from outside, this little one is well hidden inside.. again.. wrong.. i say inside and you imagine how you will need to dissect our cerebrum and try to find something inside.. come and take the stairs up.. there to your mind.. did you open the door? there behind the door is your buddy.. our buddy.. many of them.. new ones, old ones.. happy and sad ones.. crazy but also very very wise ones..

exactly.. our thoughts.. what a miracle.. there it is.. walking, running.. sleeping inside of our brain (are thoughts in our brain, or are they coming from different place..?) there.. just to take them.. put them down on paper and they will never run away.. what? are you kiddin' me? this we should celebrate? that thought?

right.. we should not.. thought, thats marvelous 'thing'.. they can take you somewhere far away.. through them you can think up everything you have taste for..

there is also a field where thoughts means nothing.. or at least they are not the purpose in this field.. they are like a fluffy clouds without life.. they need us (or we need them?) to create THAT miracle.. which miracle? THAT miracle when a thought becomes a living one..

did you ever read about religion? humanism? did you ever live in presence or your thoughts were usually taking you to the future, or to the past? two thoughts lazily laying on a violet blanket just came down to stay here, to be here in form of letters

if you would like to live, live now.. in this moment, in this very moment.. there you will find your freedom.. always pay attention to this very moment!

to let your thought become a living one, breath in a bit of deed.. you can always think about things, but only when you do them they become 'real'.. always take responsibility for deeds you do!

life..

is beautiful.. life is cruel.. nature rules.. forming society, keys from the heaven, fooling around.. no more sweet music.. just straight.. tell me straight.. we know there is no happy end.. we are fooling around.. no second change.. in this life.. romance.. fooling around.. too much fooling around.. death.. man and woman.. true man and woman.. sins and blesses, half time of life in deep sleep with dreams some of us do not remember.. sweet kisses.. where do you go dear? just fooling around.. tell me straight.. knowledge.. God.. faith.. love.. magic.. freedom.. the power of stormy ocean.. little rains knocking on a wooden house doors, love and smiles, shaking hands and knife in your back.. the seed of a trea, written book and kid sleeping in a hammock.. woman preparing in a bathroom for today's ball, man just put a cologne on his neck, secret wishes.. burning flames.. flickering fire.. the shining luna, warm sun and pleasant breeze.. cold water and hot blooded heart

night without any dream..

dunno why but i am not such a person who would dream, or at least who would remember the dreams if i would know that i dream. not like my woman who dreams almost every night, who i would say could even analyze the dreams from Jung or Freud point of view.. cannot decide whether i do not have any dreams, or i sleep so deeply that i just do not remember them.. is it so that there are people without any dreams? whose even if they would not sleep deeply would not have any dreams? or it is so that dreams are the most common brain activity over the night and all of us are able to dream?

now crossed my mind that (no more connection with dreams) i have read a great book form John Kennedy Toole. firstly it was 'The neon bible' and then i read his most known book 'A confederacy of dunces' cannot just forget about the masterly sentence connection and pages full of society sarcasm..

then over a weekend i have read 'Interworld' from Neil Gaiman which is a nice story which for me ended too soon, like the authors would not like to extend the story or just play with the great ideas written there more.. which is a pity because i enjoyed that book, though i would say that the aiming field are teenagers

now re-reeding 'Ilias' from Homer.. what a lovely poetry

big bang..

man said that life is like a flower.. i believe that he might read the little prince book.. i belive that life is a never ending story.. like a open book.. different chapters are written by our steps.. there are people who are able to write a book.. those who never tried to write one do not know how difficult it is.. determination.. diligence.. those who did write a book know that it is like giving part of your life to the book.. you left there something.. piece of your soul is 'captured' there.. your words, your story.. your fantasy.. your setup of sentences..

your book is your signature.. same like life.. your life is your signature.. everybody leaves a step in the history time line, it depends just on us how good impression our name in signature will have

back to studies..

it is here.. the most expected moment came and.. (is it really such a awesome moment?) well.. i am a student again.. preparation began in june and now i just need to fulfill my student duties, pass exams and the most important.. to work on my bachelor thesis.. rather start sooner than later.. hmm, thinkin about some topic from symbolism field..

this is a chapter i let open and which needs to be closed.. same like many other chapters in my life.. i need to take the feather, good old-school ink and finish the chapters in my book of life..

..the difficult thing is to write many chapters at the same time..