what i've believed in..in what i believe in

it happened that i have believed in kant's quote "So act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.”

i believed, that people do have some inner criticism in themselfs, i believed that they can see and they can be humble, not because someone taught them, or told them, but because they want it..

it seems, that while growing and becoming someone (still dunno whom) i am experiencing different perceptions, from different fields.. if i should summary them it would be like this

- no matter who you are, there're still some rules, even if its needed to breake them time to time
- life is one big playground, it is easy to get lost
- no matter what you will achieve, it will be never enough
- you can think whatever, but just the time will give you the answer
- brain is a great think, but if you should listen, listen to your heart
- life is not just one side of the coin, but both, still turning around
- in love, give the best from yourself, no matter how foolish it will be, put yourself into it

and some more cheerful ones..

- if you are in love, do not forget, that it is not the end, just this can bring you the knowledge, self understanding, here you can grow

- if you think that to be in love is the easiest way how to live, you are mistaken, it is the most difficult path, but the most beautiful and most worth one

- you can be angry at the world, you can hate, but always try to firstly see yourself, there is the source of everything, if you want to change something, start there, in you

and something what is my heart telling me..

- i believed in a woman.. and i still believe in her! my faith is my heart..

hero..

there is a loong way from guardian, to become a hero.. loong way and many deeds awaiting to be fulfilled.. many ugly creatures and evil dragons.. path covered by lies.. competitors.. holes with venomous snakes and ugly witches transformed into beautiful princesses..

this is the path i see in front of me.. i am taking the deep breath and i am doing my first step..

same as in fairy tales, also here, the results might be different, but mostly three..

first one is a hero who will die and will end up in hell.. somebody who will turn into a evil creature when facing all the deeds..
second one is a hero who will become a true hero, who will be admired, whom deeds will be celebrated and who will, when the time will come become a king, ruling a world with his queen by his side..
the third one is a hero who will give it up, will realize that to be hero is not for him, will go back to his house and will be a great guardian..

and same as in fairy tales, also here, the result "should be" the golden, middle way.. the second one

guardian..

for half an year i am writing something what i think is the truth.. in my heart i feel that this truth is close to my soul.. what's crazy? i was telling a fairy tale about one way and i myself was walking on a different path..

trying to think about it.. i fell in love, but i forgot the rules.. i fell in love and i thought that i am the winner.. i fell in love and i got lazy like hell.. i fell in love and instead of growing i was fading.. i fell in love and the only one i was giving was a bunch of sweet words..

you can have word.. and even if it is meant to be truth.. it needs to have some value.. the color just is not enough.. you need to breathe it soul.. you need to let the word become a deed..

i think that i became a guardian.. and it is not bad.. i am a good guardian.. like a good friend..
i heard words of my friends, i heard words from christin, my lovely sister.. i heard them but i did not listened.. all what they advised me, to be someone, to be selfish, to become a man.. they were stopped somewhere inside me..

few words..

if you will get too close to sun, you will get burned.. if you will get too close to moon, you will freeze.. first sweet piece of chocolate are the most sweetest ones and you will just fall in love with them.. third one is ok, but the other ones are too much sweet, the last one in a short time could be even distasteful.

if you would like to smile, you should know the sad things too.. if you would smile all the time, you would loose the reason why you smile..

life needs to be spiced up.. in harmony.. too much from one spice is not good..

senses..

i would like to start something about senses.. as far as we know.. the senses together with our brain are giving us some image, let say "image" of the world we are living in.. since the old human kind times the philosophers tried to examine those senses.. one of the things was idea, the pure pre-thought..

now i would like to stop.. and turn the page to few words.. "one sees clearly only with the heart. anything essential is invisible to the eyes" (antoine de saint-exupéry).. as you may know, many of our senses can be mistaken, just.. we are not perfect.. is the world, we can see, really everything what the world is giving us?
back to the worlds.. one sees clearly only with the heart. anything essential is invisible to the eyes.. thats what is telling us the author of the little prince book.. try to "think" with your heart about the worlds.. it is not something what is your brain telling you.. some conclusion, because may happen that many of the conclusions will be crazy.. may happen that they will not make any sense..

no matter how crazy they are, how non-sense they are.. reach the depth.. reach the depth and deep breathly.. forgot everything what the world taught you, and listen to your heart.. old truth, dreams, faith, wisdom.. everything is hidden in our hearts..

open your hearts.. let them shine.. the night star sky is so beautiful..

happiness only when shared..

my happiness is my beautiful woman.. i am just so proud of her and she brings me so much happiness.. among with some sad moments, which are part of everything.. because she is just everything.. there is not sun without moon, no dark without light.. no good without bad.. she is the rainbow, the rain, the sun, the colors.. she is the little fairy, the wise goddess, the beautiful one.. the exciting one.. she is someone whom i treasure in my heart, whom i give the compliment of letting her touch my heart!

i am her guardian, no matter what will happen, i am the one who protects her.. i fight for this place, i fight for being the one who i am, i am the stone where she can lay down, like little green lizards do and enjoy the sun, i am the forest where she can fly like a little fairy and make the world beautiful, i am the man who gives her different feelings..

one would say that i love her.. i am saying.. i live my dream!

mi otra parte..

this post.. i am writing it a bit unsure.. why? because it will clarify some things.. it will show me who am i and give me some answers.. and i am eager for answers..

last week, my beautiful woman was at home, with her parents.. same time, i was in my flat.. both we were thinking about the same topic, about love, and both we came to a similar conclusion, to similar questions, to similar thougths..

this weekend.. we wrote each other few messages.. happened that we were writing one of them at the same time.. this i take as a coincidence.. but then.. and now i am not sure if yes or not.. because i still did not talk with her.. i was thinking about my role here in the world.. i was thinking about my personal legend, about my dreams, whom i would like to become.. what is my heart telling me.. and i am suspicious, that she was thinking about the same.. if not, she will tell me, if yes, i will know it too..

written above doesnt have anything in common with the topic..

the topic is just simple expression of what i feel to her.. i feel understanding.. i feel that i can see what she has on her mind, in her soul.. i think that i can feel what does she mean.. not all the time.. but i try to.. i feel that she see who i am.. that she understands me.. like best friends.. i feel that i can be myself with her! and thats what is important for me.. not to pretend, but live.. live my life, live the life for me.. for her.. for us

to be proud..

i need to share with the world how proud i am of my beautiful woman.. of the little girl, of the marvelous fairy, of her and just her..
she is just full of secrets, hidden spells, beautiful places and personally i think, that she is like flower (no wonder, that such comparison exists) she needs to be taken care of to let her bloom, to let her grow (the little prince, antoine de saint-exupéry).. she has such a beautiful soul, hidden in a gorgeous body.. she can do wonders, i know it.. i know it, because i experienced few of them.. she is the warrior of light (paulo coelho) and i know, that she has the will, she has the thirst.. i know, that she can change the world..

i start to believe that my personal legend is to become a guardian, like the little prince knows, that the flower is precious, just because she is the one, i know that my little flower is precious too and i treasure her.

more and more.. i think that i was born to understand a bit, to change a bit some rules.. i feel that i am becoming someone

tonight..

wanted to start a nice post, about differences between men and women, wanted to show how we need each other, wanted to clarify what is my perception and the only one i did was that i wrote the title of the post.. then i wanted to start writing about the differences, but i did not do it.. i was blocked, instead of thinking about the differences, i found myself thinking about all the things i love on my marvelous woman.

i have saved the post about differences and started to write a post about things i love on my beloved one.. i got stucked in the middle of the post.. i found myself thinking about the fact, that this will even more re-assure her about my love towards her, instead of letting her being unsure..

strange thing, i do not want to let her be unsure.. since the man was born, we let, in all the centuries woman know, that if we love, we give everything.. if we get burned, might happen, that a bad man will become from us.. they know that they have our heart in their beautiful hands.. they desire it, they desire devotion, they desire the thirst we have for them.. it was always like that..
strange thing, we need to let the feel unsure.. since the woman was born, they know, that without us, they wouldnt have the feeling just we can give them.. if they get burned, might happen, that a cruel woman will become from them.. they know that only we can provide them what they need..

in all the centuries, we play a game.. no one will win.. but this game keeps us together.. the rules are still the same, they did not change.. and they never will