who loves whom

I guess I am not the last one who (time to time, or maybe yet) does not understand love. How does it work? Sure, nobody has the manual book for that. I was always wondering what people love about themself. I mean, in case I will be in love with someboy why I would be in love? Because what she does, or how she is? Or what are her dreams and because I think that my dreams do fit in there? If I think that she behaves good, would I love her because of that? What counts in love? Physicality? Behaviour? Fulfilled expectations? I know a case when a love did go above all these 'things'. Above physicality, above behaviour, above expectations. It was purely from heart. Was it so, or just I am saying it to myself and I do not see inside of my heart. Does my brain succesfully hide proofs of my theory misunderstandings? What do we love about the other one? At the end, aren't the specific differencies the one for us have the most special ones we do love her or him for?! Many questions and even more answers. More subjective than objective. At the end, nobody can tell us whom and how to love. It is always up to us, and that does it make even more difficult.