time.. timeless..

time is cruel.. and we spent most of the time in the job.. yeah i know.. job is needed and for sure.. there must be some work.. there always was and always will be.. i have a strange urge in me.. telling me, that i spend approximately 8 hours [2/3] of the day [12 hours] in some job.. for sure, if i would live in the countryside, i would need to take care of some field.. and for sure.. without the work we cannot live, because work = money and money = living.. thus we all need to work..

why i have the urge, that i my life is running through my fingers, like the water or sunny sand? is it telling me, that this is not the right job for me? that i should do something different? something what would fulfill my heart with joy and not just my wallet with money?

there is a marvelous girl.. a friend of mine.. and she will maybe fly to tibet.. as a volunteer.. it means, that she will pay all the costs.. and i really admire her.. thats the life.. fucking money, we are living just once.. the experience.. the life.. the joy.. the love.. the pride.. is beyond compare.. money? pfff.. no no no.. life!

i am not saying, that i do not need money.. just that the money are an instrument.. not life.. just the instrument.. you can borrow them and then give them back.. work harder and you will have more.. but still there is nothing like changing lifes.. borrow joy and then give it back..

you can live through the experience, joy, smiles, love, pride, sadness.. but you cannot live through the money.. never

growing.. changing.. smiling..

i am growing.. in my soul, in my mind.. in my body.. i am changing.. experiences, books, friends.. i am smiling.. weather, joy, life..

who we are? when we feel the joy? when we are happy? i would like to find out, the social behavior.. meaning.. the human.. it is a social animal.. lets say animal, because it is so..
for sure, it is predeterminate.. together the life is more easier.. human is not meant to be alone.. or live alone.. there should be some social cell in us, or rather say, the brain realized, that when we will kill the mammoth, it is better to invite all the friends, because it is impossible to eat the whole mammoth by ourselfs.. and the rest would get to the status of bad meat.. rather split the mammoth.. ensure the friendship and next time, when we will starve, because we did not catch the mammoth this time, our friends will split their mammoth and give us a part..

for sure it is better to live in a group.. from the group there was a bigger group.. a clan.. a village.. a city.. more cities.. the metropolis.. agglomeration.. globalization..

like the life.. once we will die.. renovatio.. renaissance.. ortega y gasset, spencer.. machiavelli.. there is a end.. and new life is born..

a mountain..

sometimes i just stop myself.. stop myself doing the steps towards the top of the mountain.. the mountain is huge.. it is sooo big, that the top is hidden in the fogy clouds.. i feel like i would look at an iceberg.. i see the top but not the rest, here i see the basis, but i do not know where it continues..

let me sit.. i see the mountain and i think that it is impossible to step the mountain up.. to climb, to watch the steps to avoid falling down.. yeah, it is dangerous.. dangerous like life itself.. wait.. the mountain is the life.. yeah, i see it know.. what shall i do, while looking at the mountain, i think, impossible, thats crazy, i cannot do it..

then i stand up and move myself closer to the mountain, i see, that i am on the basis, just did a short distance towards the top.. i see, that it is possible to climb up

for sure, what i was thinking? to swallow the whole mountain in one moment? to just jump up and appear on the top? uh.. foolish man i am.. piece by piece, step by step i will climb up.. yeah, dangerous, yeah, tough..

yeah, life!