Heart..

Who else believes in heart nowadays? All the science is braon based and nobody gives evidence whats going on in our hearts..why? Did I as well resigned on listening to man's blood pump? Is it just a blood pump? Or? Where are the feelings? Going through the stomach. Where is the thinking? In our brain.. Where does the heart play the role in this? We do have feelings, the put us in position from which we see things, situations. We would act impulsively (without thinking) if we would not take time to analyze the 'situation' but then there os again no free space for our observation as the brain can affect our decision only with the knowledge we taught it. That lead us to a point where the only trustworthy source of living are the experiences

being real..

somewhere in there.. there hidden in our soul's core are little drops dropping to our brains when we dream.. mixed with our experiences and many wishes it creates a story, a story which is easily fast forgotten when we wake up. some of us are able to keep the "memory" of the story and share it with others, or remark it somewhere on a piece of paper. I am not one of those.. my dreams are by rule hidden under the sweet blanket of night and are kept there, forgotten.. only a very small background is written into me.. I call it the dreamtale.. something what let you know that you dreamt in that night, but what will probably not show the whole picture of your story. dreams in all are very nice, sometimes very scary things.. some of us see future in them, some of us chew the facts which happened in the day in dreams and then, when the morning come, they may bring a solution to something what "bothered" them. I am very pleased by fate that I have met somebody who used the dreams to live.. a dreamy person I used to call her.. this little spark, that she was able to bring her dreams into a reality was a very nice feature.. it was something what very few of us can do and it is truly a blessing.. I am not a dreamy person, I wished to be, but I am not. Many deeds I am doing are based on pure brain.. of course, I do have feelings, I do have empathy, I like and dislike, but the decisions I make are mostly based on pure facts.. are taking pros and cons and yet as this brings me joy, it brings me exactly what my brain needs.. an order, a nice line of life.. it does not compensate the feeling of having your dreams led your life line somewhere.. I do not think being a puppet of your dreams, but it is very close to the meaning. I admire people who can do that.. I am too scared of being taken by my dream master (soul?) and live.. someone would tell me (and I know who would tell it) that I am a coward and truly in this I am.. hard to tell where I am taking the courage to run my life as I want, to keep the laces of the life horses fast in my hands. It is a two approach phenomenon.. brain or dream? or mixing up those two? I dunno.. Descartes would come with brain only, Kant mixing up both of them.. who would be the one having the dreams only? Nietzsche? Probably Péter Müller.. a Hungarian "philosopher"..

Wild morning

Getting up early morning to catch a language session. Already on the way there thinking about past times, about my personal history. About Budapest city which appears to me now like a dream, like something supported by memories of scents, food tastes, old buildings a marvelois freedom bridge. Of many many experiences which are trully important for me. Missing old times when the moon is up there and shining. I know all could have been different now, but is not. And as the life goes, naturally human beings regret of that what could have been instead of having joy what is now.
When life is passing by, some of these memories just jump on me, showing the dummy one how beautiful everything was.
That does not mean I do not appreciate what I have now.. It is like you meet somebody who lived in the communism era, which you know was a bit of a terror, and he still votes for the communist party now, just because compared to what he has now, it looks better to have the old times. Bad example.. But suits my purposes. Cant always look back. Need to live in the presence